the love child of paul hogan and lara bingleThe other day I was at work and a woman came up to me and asked me if we still had big balls. At the time I did not pick up on the “funny” side of it – because I knew she was talking about exercise balls, but I did laugh afterwards. On a completely un related matter, a kid once urinated in one of the aisles at my work. I blame bad parenting. His parents probably encourage him to piss wherever he wants, so he’s gonna grow up pissing all over the place. He’ll be prime minister one day making a speech and suddenly pause, undo his zipper and have a leak.
Whenever it rains, I get the song “Murder Reigns” by Ja Rule in my head. Because the reign is calling murder and reign sounds like rain. I wonder how many people have been murdered in the rain? I wonder how many people have been murdered while listening to murder reigns. I shouldn’t be wondering these things, murder is a terrible thing.
The other day I witnessed the robbery. I really shouldn’t have witnessed it because then the detective people came and interviewed me and made me identify the robber from a series of pictures. Problem was, I didn’t really see the guys face, nor did I pay much attention to what he looked like. So they’ve probably gone and arrested the wrong guy! Also, the detectives came to my house on the night I was going to a film showing at my old school. Even though it was a shit film showing and it started an hour late, I nearly was late (for the initial start time) because the detectives were late themselves.
When I was a kid, I was riding my bike with my dad when we saw a truck drive off the edge of a hill. Its brakes had failed. It was also speeding. No one got hurt, the truck only fell a small distance. The reason I bring this up is because a truck just drove past. Now I hear a bird, which reminds me of the time I was on holiday with my family somewhere in NZ, and a bird flew full on into the kitchen window of the place we were staying at. How the fuck did I remember that. But yeah, it looked like it was dead for a few hours then it just flew away. Now im trying to remember where in NZ that was, but I cant. There were mountains and dirt roads. Argh. Ah well.
This headache is not getting any better. So im going to stop writing this.
vete a la mierda negro
Wow!
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--- highly wharepaku ---
Peace out!
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It went west...
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--- highly wharepaku ---
2007 Travelex Tour of NZ - 1st ODI
AUS v NZL, WestpacTrust Stadium
16 February 2007
AUS 148Run Rate Required: .00NZL 0/149 NZL Run Rate 5.50
Innings overs remaining : 23.0
Current Match Status: Match Finished
Batting Score Batting Statistics
Partnership 149 runs, 0 balls, run rate .00
Vincent, L 73 87b, 8x4, 2x6, SR: 83.91
Fleming, SP 70 76b, 8x4, 2x6, SR: 92.11
Bowling Bowling Statistics
Last 5 overs: . . 1 3 . wd 1 | 1 2 wd . 4 . 1 | . 1 . 1 . 4 | . 2 . 1 4 . | . 4 1 1 . 6
Johnson, MG 0/ 49 (8.0)
Hogg, GB 0/ 16 (2.0)
2007-02-16 18:33
Man of the Match is Shane Bond. New Zealand completely outplayed Australia today with bat and ball. Not long to re-group for the Aussies with Match 2 on Sunday. Live coverage from 9am AEDT. Cheers.
2007-02-16 18:33
Over 26.6: SIX!! Vincent ends things with a big six over square leg and this match is emphatically over. New Zealand win by 10 wickets, the first time Australia has ever been defeated by that margin in ODI cricket.
2007-02-16 18:32
Over 25.5: FOUR! Fleming dances down the track to turn Hogg's delivery into a full toss then chips it through mid-wicket
View All
Australia R M B 4 6
Batters name Fall Of Wicket Runs Minutes Balls Faced Four's Sixes
Extras 1b, 2lb, 1nb, 5wd 9
Total 10 wickets , 49.3 overs 148
Hayden, ML c:Fleming b:Gillespie 14 84 39 2 0
Jaques, PA c:Vettori b:Bond 1 8 8 0 0
Haddin, BJ b:Bond 6 10 5 1 0
Hussey, MEK c:Taylor b:McMillan 42 149 96 4 0
Hodge, BJ c:Fleming b:Vettori 22 70 49 2 0
White, CL c&b:Bond 13 32 18 0 0
Watson, SR c:Bond b:Vettori 8 34 32 0 0
Hogg, GB b:Bond 20 50 23 2 0
Johnson, MG c
Bracken, NW b:Bond 0 3 4 0 0
McGrath, GD not out 5 12 6 0 0
DNB: FOW: 1-3 ( Jaques, 1.4 ov), 2-16 ( Haddin, 3.1 ov), 3-45 ( Hayden, 17.2 ov), 4-86 ( Hodge, 31.3 ov), 5-98 ( Hussey, 34.3 ov), 6-108 ( White, 39.1 ov), 7-120 ( Watson, 42.6 ov), 8-133 ( Johnson, 46.6 ov), 9-133 ( Bracken, 47.4 ov), 10-148 ( Hogg, 49.3 ov),
Bowling O M R W Wd Nb
Bowlers Name Overs Bowled Maiden Overs Runs Against Wickets Taken Wides Bowled No Balls
Tuffey, DR 8.0 0 29 0 1 0
Bond, SE 9.3 2 23 5 2 1
Oram, JDP 10.0 0 22 0 0 0
Gillespie, MR 9.0 0 27 2 1 0
Vettori, DL 9.0 1 26 2 0 0
Styris, SB 2.0 0 15 0 1 0
McMillan, CD 2.0 0 3 1 0 0
New Zealand R M B 4 6
Batters name Fall Of Wicket Runs Minutes Balls Faced Four's Sixes
Extras 0b, 3lb, 1nb, 2wd 6
Total 0 wickets , 27.0 overs 149
Vincent, L not out 73 121 87 8 2
Fleming, SP not out 70 121 76 8 2
Taylor, RL
Styris, SB
McMillan, CD
Oram, JDP
McCullum, BB
Vettori, DL
Bond, SE
Gillespie, MR
Tuffey, DR
DNB: Taylor, Styris, McMillan, Oram, McCullum, Vettori, Bond, Gillespie, Tuffey
FOW: Bowling O M R W Wd Nb
Bowlers Name Overs Bowled Maiden Overs Runs Against Wickets Taken Wides Bowled No Balls
McGrath, GD 6.0 1 23 0 0 1
Bracken, NW 7.0 1 30 0 0 0
Johnson, MG 8.0 0 49 0 1 0
Watson, SR 4.0 0 28 0 0 0
Hogg, GB 2.0 0 16 0 1 0
12th men: ( New Zealand), Voges, AC ( Australia)
Umpires: Aleem Dar (PAK), Bowden, BF (NZL)
Third Umpire: Baxter, G (NZL)
Match Referee: Procter, MJ (SAF)
Toss: Won By New Zealand
New Zealand: Bond, SE Fleming, SP Gillespie, MR McCullum, BB McMillan, CD Oram, JDP Patel, JS Styris, SB Taylor, RL Tuffey, DR Vettori, DL Vincent, L
Australia: Bracken, NW Haddin, BJ Hayden, ML Hodge, BJ Hogg, GB Hussey, MEK Jaques, PA Johnson, MG McGrath, GD Voges, AC Watson, SR White, CL
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--- highly wharepaku ---
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Ivvvvvvvve done it once and i'll do it agaiiinnnnnnn.......IMA grub ima dirty grub DEEDOOLOODEEDONG
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Ivvvvvvvve done it once and i'll do it agaiiinnnnnnn.......IMA grub ima dirty grub DEEDOOLOODEEDONG
Pakistan put Proteas' lights out
By Paul Higham - Created on 07 Feb 07
Second One Day International
Durban
Pakistan 351-4 Innings Complete (Mohammad Yousuf 101 no, Younis Khan 93, Shahid Afridi 77 no, Imran Nazir 57) v South Africa 210
Pakistan beat South Africa by 141 runs
Pakistan levelled their one-day series with hosts South Africa thanks to a crushing 141-run victory in the second game in Durban.
Ever the unpredictable, Pakistan bounced back from a comprehensive 164-run humbling in the first match to bounce back and hammer the hosts by nearly as big a margin in Durban to level the series at 1-1.
Mohammad Yousuf's century was the solid base which Pakistan's daunting total of 351-4 was made as they batted out their allotted 50 overs after winning the toss, while Younis Khan weighed in with 93 and Shahid Afridi produced another sparkling cameo.
South Africa never really looked like offering a serious challenge to that total and, despite a half-hour stoppage for a power cut, Pakistan would not be denied as the hosts were knocked over for 204 with ten overs left to spare.
Pakistan's innings started poorly when Kamran Akmal went lbw to Shaun Pollock with just one run on the board, but Imran Nazir's half century helped the score to a respectable 80-2.
Younis and Yousuf then came together and their partnership of 124 set the tourists up for a challenging score, before Younis went three runs short of his century.
Yousuf settled in to complete his century as Afridi came in with all guns blazing as he made 77 not out off just 35 balls to give the innings a late boost up to 351, a record against South Africa and their third best of all time.
South Africa got off to a decent start in their run chase, but the size of the target always meant they would be under pressure and wickets kept on tumbling as no batsman could get above 50.
AB De Villiers made 43 before becoming one of Abdul Razzaq's two wickets, while Mohammad Asif took 2-29 from ten overs as he applied pressure throughout his spell.
Shahid Afridi added best bowling figures of 3-25 to his blazing knock of 77 in a superb all-round performance.
Even a power cut at the Kingsmead Stadium that lasted half an hour could not stop Pakistan, and when Akmal stumped Pollock expertly it was all over and the tourists had won handsomely.
With the first two matches being decided so emphatically, it sets up for an enticing third match in the series in Port Elizabeth on Friday.
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--- highly wharepaku ---
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